My first year as a sex worker
Lounging in the apartment where I met my first client with that bottle of Möet.
On 4th March, I celebrated the anniversary of my first sex work booking.
I have never recalled the date I started a job so clearly before, because I've never had a job where our culture would consider the first day to be so personally significant, as clear a watershed in life as the day I "lost" my "virginity". 4th March was the day that I lost my ability to honestly say, "I have never worked as an escort", but rather like my virginity, I hadn't much use for that sentence anyway, and was excited for the new experience.
My first three appointments were spread out over a weekend in an opulent mews apartment in Central London, with a decadent decor in deep reds, velvets, ornate brass, oil paintings and Persian rugs, lit by twinkling candles and scored by throbbing background music from speakers that were just out of sight. Books of erotic photography and poetry filled the shelves right up to the ceiling. All the long, heavy curtains were closed for privacy, making an ordinary lunchtime feel like a romantic evening in a world outside the world.
This was all thanks to Mistress Elita, a close friend who had been coaching me for nearly a month in advance on all aspects of the industry, including making me aware of organisations like NUM, Praed Street and SWISH. I was amazed at the volume and quality of information and services available from charities and government bodies in the UK, probably because I assumed that no-one wants to know what escorts do, or what happens to them (us). It was the first of many pleasant surprises in sex work.
Taken just minutes before I met my first client; you can see the nervous tension in my jaw.
The first appointment
My first meeting was a threesome with Mistress Elita and her client, who had been briefed on my complete inexperience; fortunately, it dovetailed nicely with a fantasy about his Mistress using him to train up a new dominatrix. I was about to give the most authentic performance of my life.
I wasn't nervous about the sex itself (I had done that part before, at least) so much as everything surrounding it. What do people talk about during a session? If I'm dominating someone, should I call them a worm, or just keep shtum and concentrate on my aim and their responses? If we have sex for ten minutes during a two-hour session, what do we do for the remaining time? Should I move in to kiss him right away, or is that too forward? Will he like me? Am I pretty enough? What if I put my foot in it by making some terrible faux pas that ruins the mood? I have a propensity to just say whatever's on my mind without much of a filter; probably a disadvantage in sex work, I thought.
Our client wrote a much better blog about this first session than I ever could here. Suffice to say, the session was incredibly fun, over too quickly, toasted with pink Möet (I still carry the cork as a lucky charm), and I have enjoyed seeing that client at least once every month since, in restaurants, dungeons, 5* hotels and London theatres.
I was amazed at how incredibly polite, charming and respectful my clients were; I was touched by how important my comfort and pleasure was and continues to be for each of them. I always ask for references from polite email enquiries before meeting, and so far, this simple manners plus references requirement has worked for me 100% of the time. I'm genuinely fond of my small selection of clients and always get excited when they email me about our next date, or surprise me with a thoughtful token in the post.
Cocktails at The Ritz.
SWitter
Sex Work Twitter was another discovery that illustrated how organised, professional and feminist other escorts, dommes and dating companions really are. If you assume that women "fall" or "sink" into escorting because they are too lazy, addled or uneducated to do a "real" job with clothes on, you'll be in for a nice surprise when you check out my Following list.
What have I learned?
Never judge a book by its cover. Confidence comes from impeccable preparation. Everyone is kinky, at least a little bit. When it comes to blow jobs, enthusiasm is more important than technique. People can be even kinder, cleverer and more multi-faceted than you think. Discretion is key, both ways. Every woman is a soul-sister. Confidence, red nail polish and a round bum are sexy. If in doubt, don't.
Click or tap the images to see larger versions.
What do I anticipate in the next 12 months?
Despite my careful advance research, my first year in sex work was constantly surprising, and I don't expect that to change for at least another year while I settle into my glamorous new profession as the ideal girlfriend and play partner. Thus far, I haven't made a concerted effort to advertise, as such, other than maintaining my Twitter and AdultWork accounts, but I think that's okay for now. I am in the unusually privileged position of not actually needing to work as an escort full-time, making my "work" so low-pressure as to feel closer to simply being paid to have fun from time to time with friendly, generous men who are in touch with their sensuality and the joy of luxury. Long may it continue.
All photos by Darla Blake.
I am a kinky escort and luxurious dating companion based in Central London. I like vintage glamour, food, 5* hotel rooms and champagne cocktails.
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