Lies, damn lies and statistics

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Oh hi!

I know, because Clients have told me, that they are curious about some of the nitty-gritty of being an escort.

This is totally understandable, but a lot of the time, I don't have access to some of the exact facts and figures they're curious about off the top of my head.

I recently did my tax return (groo), which was of course a dull exercise BUT I used it as an opportunity to go back through my diary and remind myself of all the dates I'd been on during the tax year 2020-2021. I started assembling some stats of my own that I knew the taxman wouldn't be interested in, but I would. Then I did the same for my 2019-20 diary, as obviously lockdown limited my data rather.

To cut a boring story short, I used this data to assemble a blog where I can properly answer some of the questions people have asked, plus some more info on top that people might silently wonder about. In no particular order:

My identity as a "real" person has been verified both by AdultWork, the UK's most popular networking site for Companions and their Clients, and OnlyFans, which has over 100 million registered members worldwide. Look for the tick under my profile photos! It means an independent body has verified my face and my government-issued photo ID.

Here are some testimonials from people who have met me, taken from my (publicly visible) page on AdultWork, where you will see I have 100% positive feedback:

"I can honestly say this was one of the most enjoyable 90 minutes of my life."
- jimmystew72

"Good communications and forward planning resulted in a perfect experience."
- 1stCoach

"Her WS skills are second to none."
- barrie42

"Lilly is absolutely gorgeous, such style, elegance and a very seductive look, a rare luxurious treat."
- twodogs239

Just over half of all Clients who made a two-hour booking eventually went on to make an overnight rendezvous. Two-thirds like to socialise with me in a bar or restaurant at some point, even if just for a quick drink before heading up to their room, and I'd say a good 98% want at least some social interaction on the day, however brief (e.g. a casual five-minute chat or "cool-down period" in our dressing gowns at the end).

The overwhelming majority of my regulars follow me on Twitter, OnlyFans or both (probably because you can subscribe to my OF for free using a Twitter account). I'd say about 60% of Clients tip at least once (usually in person but sometimes online), with 50% of regulars tipping at least a little as standard. A higher percentage again bring gifts, such as lingerie they want to see me in, or send them through the mail.

I always bring high quality Skyn condoms for sex (including oral), which are said to feel like "the closest thing to wearing nothing". They are latex-free, vegan, halal and kosher-friendly. I have been vaccinated against COVID-19 and hepatitis B, and have full STI screenings at Dean Street Express every 1-3 months, as per their recommendations. I get the results texted to my phone to save trees, so just ask if you would like to see my latest. I promise I won't be offended.

I am a full-time lady of leisure; I dedicate my life to sensual enjoyment and the fun of dating. I will only live once and I intend to make the most of it. I have no intention of getting a boring job or living a boring life ever again.

I think that just about covers it, but if you have any more questions, please ask in person on our date ;)

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I am a kinky London escort and luxurious dating companion. I enjoy vintage glamour, fine dining, and visiting mature businessmen in their 5* hotels. If you would like to comment on this post, please email

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