La Belle Horizontale

Explanation of what I'm up to below ;)

My first trip abroad after lockdown had to be to Paris! I just got back from a wonderful city break where I could squeeze in some of my favourite Paris spots and activities, as well as staying in a hotel in the Pigalle that I’ve had my eye on after Dita Von Teese recommended it.

It used to be a Belle Époque bordello and has been redecorated in a luxurious late C19th French brothel style. I loved learning about this era of escorting history at the local museum. The stunning black and white photographs of the escorts in their floor-length ballgowns floored me. That was how they did it back then.

I believe Cocteau said something along these lines about all those layers and layers of ankle-length lace covering corsetry, suspender straps and various other lingerie contraptions: “Undressing one of these women takes about three weeks. It is like moving house!” Hilarious!

I can actually travel quite light when I need to, though...

Unpacking didn't take long!

Anyway, our butler (yes! We were allocated a butler!) gave us the guided tour when we arrived in perfect French-accent English. “This is where zuh gentlemen would arrive and network with each other about their businesses or simply catch up over a drink.” What a novel idea! We English wouldn’t dream of doing that today… would we? I guess it shows a more relaxed and liberated attitude towards debauchery in 1910s Paris. “Then when they were ready, they would move to this salon to meet zuh girls. We keep theese painting here as our leetle version of that.”

The salon where zee gentlemen met zee girls, a hundred or more years ago.

“Then having conducted their business in the bedrooms upstairs, zuh gentlemen could retire here for a cool drink in the salon or garden before returning to zuh street.” No wonder the Pigalle was jumping in the 1910s! It would be difficult to visit and not have a good time. The vibe is still vicey now; plenty of strip clubs, peep shows and sex toy shops; but the red lights have mostly been switched off. For now.

We had dinner at Lapérouse, which I believe is the oldest restaurant in Paris (not 100% on this), having opened in 1766. It was amazing to me how despite having maintained so much original décor, the restaurant felt so alive. It wasn’t like stepping into a museum, more like stepping back in time, like in Midnight in Paris, one of my favourite films. I loved the painted murals on the walls, the low ceilings, the corridors that all run off each other organically like red velvet tunnels, without a right angle in sight. Very easy to immediately get lost in when visiting the powder room, not that I minded. This view from the window seems to capture everything I love about Paris.

C18th Paris at dusk!

We did a little shopping along the Seine, where I saw this Vogue cover that I made up my mind to recreate back at the hotel...

We duly went skinny-dipping with a camera in the private pool and eucalyptus steam room, which had beautiful astrology themed ceilings (there are a couple of uncensored pics on my Only Fans, if you’re interested), then a late breakfast in her bedroom in white towelling robes, with the big windows thrown open, the sunlight and Parisian hum pouring in, and the red geraniums bobbing in the breeze. Everywhere had window boxes full of red geraniums. I’m going to buy some for my house, I think! I have great associations with them now. We didn’t have time to drop in on The Ritz (I wanted to check out Hemingway’s Bar!) but I bet they had red geraniums on every floor!

Bonjour, Paris! View from my hotel room window.

We dropped in on Louboutin, but unfortunately, they didn’t have the shoes I was after in my size anywhere in Paris. The assistant said there was one pair left in Paris and one in Rome, both of which I see from the website have now been sold. Perhaps I should have just ordered them online back in England, but I wanted to buy them in Paris because they were £80 cheaper there than in London. At least I got to see those thigh-high leather boots in person!

That night, we enjoyed the “Dita” cocktail in one of the hotel bars- the one where the gentlemen used to recuperate after meeting with their ladies in the bedrooms. Many of the cocktails were named after famous courtesans and “les belles horizontales”, an expression I simply adored.

Awaiting the arrival of the Dita cocktails, which came "tied up" in red satin ribbon and teeny-tiny pegs! <3

After our Dita cocktail hour, we went to see Dita Von Teese herself on her Glamonatrix tour at the Folies Bergère, a historic venue for striptease that had its heyday in the 1920s and still has huge original Deco friezes coated in gold leaf on the outside. Josephine Baker herself performed there in the day! There is an antique glass runway that runs all round the audience at balcony level that every nude dancer used to parade around on. The seats directly underneath that glass runway were always the most expensive and sought after!

We had a better view of the stage by sitting more centrally however, and what a spectacular show. My favourite act was definitely the one where Dita was dressed head to toe in black gloss vinyl with thigh-high Louboutin boots- kind of similar to the ones I’d seen in the shop earlier that day, but heavily embellished with crystals and spurs- climaxing in her riding a giant lipstick like a bucking bronco under a rain of glitter and fireworks! It was one of the sexiest acts I have ever seen! I have added the music from that “Lipteese” act to one of my Spotify playlists.

There are lots more amazing photos of the show on Dita's website here.

The next morning I enjoyed a solo breakfast on the pavement at a brasserie opposite the Gard du Nord and tried to work out if there was any way I could stay in Paris for longer. Perhaps it’s just because I’ve been so travel-starved recently, but it just felt so good being there.

Paris might even have temporarily replaced London in my heart. There is so much more I want to do, and do again: I have a list of hotels and restaurants on my phone, and I simply want to wander the streets too, stopping at those amazing outdoor cafes for a coffee or a glass of white wine and to watch the world go by. I want to visit the catacombs (Notre Dame is closed at the moment). I want to photograph the Eiffel Tower (I have the exact street I want to shoot it from also saved on my phone). I want to buy dirty postcards on the banks of the Seine, go for a boat ride, dine on oysters and île flottante, and sip absinthe in a window seat in Maxim’s bar. Apparently Maxim himself had the bright idea of assembling the best-dressed ladies with champagne and cocktails in every window of his bar to tempt in passers-by. Seeing what looked like an entire bar filled with glamorously tipsy ladies dressed to the nines and having a wonderful time must have had quite an impact on any man casually strolling by looking for an after-work drink! It worked in the 1910s and I have an idea that restaurants and bars often still allocate the best tables to the best-dressed to this day. I think if you sit on one of those brasserie tables closest to the street you often get the best-looking food, too!

Well, my Paris trip was over far too quickly, but it has given me some permanent memories and inspired so many more trips in my head. I have to remind myself that the Gare Du Nord is practically a stop on the tube away- admittedly, about two hours away, but still, it would probably take that long to get from Canary Wharf to Watford Junction. And where would I rather travel to?!

Every building in Paris has tits on it somewhere. Love it.

Back in Blighty, I am off Twitter this month and focusing more on “proper” blogging/ newsletter-writing, as well as making my fanciful little fetish videos and photos that I post on Only Fans. They are very self-indulgent and it’s fun for me to have one place where I can keep them all and share them with anyone who’s interested.

I am also getting on with more mundane tasks like working out and fixing my car. (The head gasket has gone, which is very expensive, so I am particularly grateful for anyone buying my photos and videos right now. Feel free to e-mail me if you would like something made custom just for you.)

I have also decided to try having different themed months- we’ll see how long that lasts!- starting with a silks and satin theme in July. My motto for the month will be “la belle horizontale”, an expression I feel cannot possibly be overused. I may include a little voice message along with my newsletter, if I can work out how to do it, just to say hi and have a catch-up! I will post a video on the first day of the month and photo sets on the 1st, 7th, 14th and 21st. That’s the plan at the moment, anyway!

I am an elegant, affectionate, sensual hedonist and elite, discreet dating companion... a blonde, ultrafeminine and authentically kinky English rose. I like to laugh, smile, flirt and play, whether for a moment’s welcome escape, a wild afternoon or an opulent evening for two… anywhere luxurious between London and Devon. If you would like to comment on this post or arrange a date, please email

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